Comforting Ties

Ohio and Kentucky Support Group Announcements

2011-02-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

After a 6 month break from helping run Autism 4 Families, I have decided to start Comforting Ties back up. This time, there will be support groups in both Cincinnati, Ohio and Covington, Kentucky. The Kentucky meeting will be on March 7th from 6-8 PM at the Center for Great Neighborhoods, 1650 Russell St, Covington, KY, 41011. The Ohio meeting will be on March 28th from 6-8 PM, location TBA. I'm hoping it can be at White Oak Nutrition, 5830 Cheviot Rd, Cincinnati, OH, 45247, but haven't confirmed it yet. The Kentucky meetings will be the second Monday of every month from 6-8 PM, and the Ohio meetings will be the fourth Monday of every month. Part of the meetings will be following the autism support group suggested topics from the University of Louisville's Kentucky Autism Training Center (KATC); part of them will be open forum; and I'm hoping to have a speaker at least every other month relating to the topic of the month, or as requested by attendees. All are welcome, so feel free to stop on by. Parents, teachers, family members, etc. The more, the merrier. I may not have all of the answers, but I will try my best to find one for you.

October Autism Support Group Meeting

2009-10-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

The meeting went well tonight. Had a new couple come to the meeting who believe all three of their sons may be on the autism spectrum. It felt good to have them be there and not feel so alone going through the process of trying to get an autism diagnosis. The friends I've made and the people I've been able to connect through this group makes it all worth it; makes it feel like I'm making a difference.

Conflict Resolution

2009-06-15T20:42:00.000-07:00

Debbie Lorence, from the University of Louisville's Kentucky Autism Training Center, gave a handout on managing family stress that I thought may help:

I will try not to avoid conflicy altogether - instead, I will try to not let the little things that bother me BUILD UP until one of us explodes the issue into a large fight; I will try to talk about it with my partner within 48 hours, or let it go; I will try to set an appointment within the next 24 hours to have our discussion if my partner doesn't want to discuss the matter immediately.

I will try not become defensive - instead, I will try to listen and hear my partner out; I will try to address my partner's complaints with objectivity and with a willingness to understand; I will try to remain calm and in control of my emotions.

I will try not to overgeneralize - instead, I will try to lose the words "always" and "never"; I will try to avoid catasrophizing; I will try to avoid the focus on isolated events and assuming all future events will be the same; I will try to stop and think if the things I am saying are really true.

I will try not to always be right - instead, I will try to stop looking at things as being "right" or "wrong" and that my opinions are always right and my partner's are wrong; I will try to recognize that sometimes two points of view are valid; I will try to look for effective ways to compromise; I will try to accept that my partners might have a different opinion that I do and that sometimes we might need to agree to disagree.

I will try not to read my partner's mind - instead, I will try to resist the idea that I "know" what my partner is thinking and that those thoughts are contrary to mine; I will try to avoid assigning motives to my partner's actions - "You are only saying/doing this because..."; I will try to avoid jumping to conclusions and hear my partner out.

I will try not to deny the positive - instead, I will try to refrain from holding the magnifying glass to the negative events while I dismiss the positive - for example, I will focus on the nine things that go right instead of the one thing that goes wrong; I will try to expect positive things to happen rather than thinking of positive things as flukes - this will help me to eliminate those "Yeah, but...." responses when my partner proposes a solution to a problem.

I will try not to forget to listen - instead, I will try to listen carefully - don't think about what I am going to say next while my partner is talking; I will try to reflect back what my partner is saying so he/she feels heard; I will try to avoid interrupting; I will try to look at my partner when we are having a conversation and pay attention to his/her body language; I will try to use "I" statements instead of "You" statements.

I will try not to play the "Blame Game" - instead, I will try to refrain from criticizing and blaming others for the situation; I will try to avoid trying to "shame" my partner as being "at fault"; I will try to use the opportunity to analyze the situation objectively, assess the needs of both parties, and try to reach a solution that helps both of us; I will try to refrain from personalizing my stressors - blaming myself for things over which I have no control creates more stress for me.

I will try not to always feel I need to "win" - instead, I will try to come to a resolution and a mutual understanding that respects the needs of both of us; I will try to not discount my partner's thoughts and get stuck in my own point of view; I will try to look for ways to compromise. Health communication involves finding a resolution that both parties can be happy with.

I will try not make character attacks - instead, we will try to avoid calling each other names; we will refrain from blaming one another or make accusations; I will try to respect my partner even if I don't like his/her ideas or behavior; I will try to avoid bringing up past conflicts to throw the discussion off-topic.

I will try not to "own" my stuff - instead, I will try to accept my own responsibility for the situation - this causes long-term problems because the situation won't get any better; I will try to avoid engaging in finger-pointing and acknowledge my own thoughts and feelings.

Sandy Knollman

14 Ways to Advocate for Your Child

2009-06-12T10:30:00.000-07:00

14 Ways to Advocate for Your Child, according to the 2009 Exceptional Kamily KYmagazine (www.lexingtonfamily.com):
1) Believe not only in your child, but in your ability to advocate at all times.
2) Know and understand your rights.
3) Keep good, organized records.
4) Come to meetings prepared, knowing and understanding what is in your child'sIEP.
5) Know the purpose of each meeting and what you want to discuss.
6) Be ready to share what you know about your child.
7) Ask to see data before making changes.
8) Make sure that what is agreed on in meetings is written on the IEP form. "Ifit is not written down it does not exist."
9) Build positive, respectful relationships with professionals.
10) Become a good listener.
11) Practice what you're going to say in meetings.
12) Ask questions about everything you don;t understand.
13) Don't let personal animosity distort your judgement about getting what yourchild needs.
14) Be willing to try something new.

Hope this helps!
Sandy Knollman

2009 Cincinnati Walk Now for Autism

2009-05-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

The walk went very well today. We had 5 people inquire about buying the puzzle piece purses. We may have also found a building for the autism resource center. I had a table at the walk as well and gave away over 15 copies of the resource list. I wish I could've given more, but that's all I was able to bring with me. I gave a lot of people my home e-mail address so I can e-mail them the links to Autism Speaks First 100 Days Kit, as well as the Kentucky Family Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders. I even received a request asking for information about support groups. I was so happy to be able to say that we have one! No parent should be going through this struggle alone. Whether you've gotten a diagnosis or waiting for one, you shouldn;t have to go through it alone. We're here to help, and will do what we can to find the resources and support you need.

May Meeting - Summary

2009-05-11T20:42:00.000-07:00

I think the meeting tonight went very well. There was a total of 7 in attendance. Connie and I provided some handouts, to include the completed resource list that I typed up last night. Nancy Elmore came to the meeting, and she offered to donate 25% of the proceeds of her Premier jewelry sales to my autism walk team: Shelby's Proud Puppies. Though we all have very different personalities, we all share a common thread, and that is our children. We've all faced the same struggles and made it through ok, and that's what helps.

Jessika Vance-Morgan and Autism Research

2009-05-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

The following is a message I received from Jessika:

Hello,

A couple of weeks ago I sent out an e-mail explaining my current research endeavors at Eastern Kentucky University. This reach is focused on using the NEPSY-II, a neuropsychological test that assesses executive functioning, senorimotor functioning, social perception, and visuospatial processing with children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. I would like to examine the unique profile children with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's Syndrome in the Executive Functioning and Social Functioning aspects of this neuropsychological battery.

In order to have my research approved by the IRB, I must have an e-mail from various organizations that support Autism research that they will forward my information on to their e-mail lists, web sites, and discussion boards. If you feel that this research is one that you can support, please e-mail me back and let me know.

Your support of research and advocacy of Autism Spectrum Disorders is admired and appreciated. Thank you for your time.
Jessika Vance-Morgan

Academic Coach
Office of Services for Individuals with Disabilities
Office: 859-622-2933
Mobile: 859-588-4116
jessika_vancemorg@eku.edu

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.-John Wesley

May Meeting

2009-05-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

I am creating a Word file with a comprehensive list of all of the books and websites I have either been referred to, found myself, or found in the 2008 Autism Yellow Pages. I will be printing about 15 copies to give out at the meeting tomorrow. The May meeting will be from 6-8 PM at the Florence Baptist Temple, 1898 Florence Pk, Burlington, KY 41005. Light refreshments, pop and water will be provided. In addition to the meeting, we will have a guest, Nancy Elmore, who is with Premier Jewelry. She will be donating 25% of the proceeds to Shelby's Proud Puppies, the walk team I have for this year's 2009 Cincinnati Walk Now for Autism. I will also be doing some research about stress, because I know that's something we all feel at one time or another. I will also be doing some research about insurance, budgeting, and credit. This all ties into stress, which I think is one of the biggest roadblocks we can face as parents, friends, children, family members, educators, and providers of those with autism.

The 5 Types of Autism Spectrum Disorders - According to Kentucky's Family Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders

2009-05-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

1) Autism
2) Asperger Syndrome
3) Pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS)
4) Rett Syndrome
5) Childhood disintegrative disorder

The word "autism" was first used in 1911. It wasn't until the 1960's that researchers began to put autism in its own category. In 1994, DSM-IV was introduced to clarify the characteristics and criteria needed for an autism diagnosis. Autism spectrum disorders affect 3 main areas: communication, socialization, and behavior. Others areas of development, such as fine motor skills and sensory processing, may also be affected.

Puzzle Piece Purses

2009-05-09T14:19:00.001-07:00

Sold 2 puzzle piece purses today! At $15 each, that puts us $30 closer to getting the autism resource center opened. Connie also gave me a puzzle piece change purse and eyeglass holder for viewing. I even received a donation offer from another person, since he said he didn't want to buy a purse. How cool is that? I'm going online tonight to buy a bolt of puzzle piece fleece. I'll be able to make hats, mittens, and lap and full-size blankets. I think it would be fun to make other stuff as well, but don't want to go overboard.

Happy Mother's Day to all!!!

Twitter

2009-05-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally did it. I'm now on Twitter as sandyknollman. If you're on there also, I will be sending out updates about this blog, the Autism 4 Families autism resource center, and the Comforting Ties Autism Support Group.

2009-05-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

We are getting that much closer to getting the autism resource center opened! Connie and her neighbor Gloria are hard at work at making the puzzle piece purses, totes, necklaces, change purses and eyeglass cases we'll be selling to go toward opening the center. We went online this past Saturday and got the tax id for Autism 4 Families, which will be the name of the autism resource center. Also, this week, we'll be getting the business checking account opened, meeting with the CPA to get Form 1023 filled out so we can be recognized as a tax-exempt organization. That way, people will be eleigible for a tax write-off for making donations. None of us want to profit personally from this venture, and that's why we all get along so well. It's definitely an exciting time!

Autism Resource Centers

2009-04-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

I am looking into opening an autism resource center for the West Side of Cincinnati and for the Northern KY area. Trying to get the funding figured out, as well as all of the non-profit paperwork. Definitely a work in progress, but one that is looking less like a dream and more like a reality.

Elias Tembenis Memorial Walk

2008-11-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

Elias Tembenis Memorial Walk
Elias Tembenis was born in 2000 and was the light of his parents’ eyes. At age 4 months, he received a set of vaccinations that catapulted him into seizures; later to be diagnosed with a seizure disorder and then Autism. His parents worked diligently to get him the help he needed and he began to make great strides. At age 6, he was well on his way to recovery, but then, suddenly, the seizures that had plagued him earlier returned and ended his journey.
The Elias Tembenis Walk for Autism is a journey across America to benefit families struggling to pay for autism therapy and medical services. Two friends of the Tembenis Family, Robert Williams and Bobby Genese, both of Worcester, MA, began their walk in May 2008. Robert Williams and Bobby Genese have made their way through Cincinnati and were supported by the Cincinnati A-Team.
They are collecting donations online and the proceeds benefit NAA's Helping Hand Project, providing direct assistance to autism families in need.
For more information, visit http://www.nationalautismassociation.org/eliaswalk or www.walkforelias.com.
Please continue to pledge your support for them as they continue this important journey for all of us....

The Rusty Ball

2008-11-01T22:19:00.000-07:00

The Rusty Ball - You Are Invited!!
Saturday, November 22, 2008 8pm-1am @ the Northern KY Convention Center
Attention all 80s fans and party animals! You Are Invited!
The Rusty Ball is a high exposure, annual event occurring in November, the season of Thanksgiving.
The goal of the event is to sell 4,000 tickets to benefit 40+ charitable organizations in our community. The event celebrates the volunteer spirit by giving back to the community.
Sorry kiddies, the Rusty Ball is a 21 and over event.
Two local Autism Organizations - St. William School Autism Scholarship Program and Scottie's Stampede (through Autism Speaks) have been chosen as beneficiaries of The 2008 Rusty Ball.
Tickets are now available online. Please choose one of these organizations as your beneficiary of choice. Please contact Marcy Mullins at 513-368-7789 if you need additional information.
www.therustyball.com

Comforting Ties - Autism Support Group

2008-11-01T22:16:00.000-07:00

Monday, December 1 5:30-6:30 p.m.
Comforting Ties - Autism Support Group
Place: The Center for Great Neighborhoods, 1650 Russell St, Covington, KY, 41011
Purpose: Meeting of local parents of children/adults with autism, as well as local professionals who work with, educate, treat or support children/adults with autism
Goal: Monthly meetings as a collaborative effort to share information about tips, ideas, books, websites, treatments, medicine, nutrition, successes and failures in an effort to raise autism awareness and support those who either have children/adults with autism or work with, treat, educate or support children/adults with autism
Refreshments: Water, coffee, pop and some snacks will be provided; if you’d like to bring a snack to share, please feel free to do so
Contact: Call or e-mail Sandy Knollman, Assistant Banking Officer at the Fort Wright Banking Center of Republic Bank, at 859-957-1962 or sknollman@republicbank.com

Families with ASD North Pole Express Train Ride

2008-11-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

Families with ASD North Pole Express Train Ride Ticket Request
Saturday, November 22nd, 2008 : 2:30 p.m.
Make payable to Families with ASD and mail with check to Families with ASD, 4215 Edinburgh Drive, Cincinnati, OH 45245. Must be received by November 15th
Kindervelt's North Pole Express at the Lebanon Mason Monroe Train Station, 2:30 p.m. with Families with ASD Group
Name: _______________________________ Address: ___________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Phone number: ________________________ Cell # _____________________________
Email: ________________________________ Number of tickets at $9 each ___________________ (Babies 1 year and under are free)
Total amount enclosed: $_________________
We have purchased 114 tickets (two train cars) for the 2: 30 p.m. run. We have paid $15 a ticket (adult and children) but as a special offer to you we are offering tickets on our two train cars at $9 each (adult and children). Families with ASD will pay the remaining $6 ticket price for each ticket thanks to a very generous anonymous donor. Please make your check payable to Families with ASD and mail to Families with ASD, 4215 Edinburgh Drive, Cincinnati, OH 45245. Tickets will be sold on a first come first paid served basis. Emails requesting tickets do not hold tickets for your family. Only paid request with order form will ensure your tickets. We need all order forms no later than Saturday, November 15rd, 2008. Thank you.
Julia Ann Smith