Monday, October 5, 2009
October Autism Support Group Meeting
The meeting went well tonight. Had a new couple come to the meeting who believe all three of their sons may be on the autism spectrum. It felt good to have them be there and not feel so alone going through the process of trying to get an autism diagnosis. The friends I've made and the people I've been able to connect through this group makes it all worth it; makes it feel like I'm making a difference.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Conflict Resolution
Debbie Lorence, from the University of Louisville's Kentucky Autism Training Center, gave a handout on managing family stress that I thought may help:
I will try not to avoid conflicy altogether - instead, I will try to not let the little things that bother me BUILD UP until one of us explodes the issue into a large fight; I will try to talk about it with my partner within 48 hours, or let it go; I will try to set an appointment within the next 24 hours to have our discussion if my partner doesn't want to discuss the matter immediately.
I will try not become defensive - instead, I will try to listen and hear my partner out; I will try to address my partner's complaints with objectivity and with a willingness to understand; I will try to remain calm and in control of my emotions.
I will try not to overgeneralize - instead, I will try to lose the words "always" and "never"; I will try to avoid catasrophizing; I will try to avoid the focus on isolated events and assuming all future events will be the same; I will try to stop and think if the things I am saying are really true.
I will try not to always be right - instead, I will try to stop looking at things as being "right" or "wrong" and that my opinions are always right and my partner's are wrong; I will try to recognize that sometimes two points of view are valid; I will try to look for effective ways to compromise; I will try to accept that my partners might have a different opinion that I do and that sometimes we might need to agree to disagree.
I will try not to read my partner's mind - instead, I will try to resist the idea that I "know" what my partner is thinking and that those thoughts are contrary to mine; I will try to avoid assigning motives to my partner's actions - "You are only saying/doing this because..."; I will try to avoid jumping to conclusions and hear my partner out.
I will try not to deny the positive - instead, I will try to refrain from holding the magnifying glass to the negative events while I dismiss the positive - for example, I will focus on the nine things that go right instead of the one thing that goes wrong; I will try to expect positive things to happen rather than thinking of positive things as flukes - this will help me to eliminate those "Yeah, but...." responses when my partner proposes a solution to a problem.
I will try not to forget to listen - instead, I will try to listen carefully - don't think about what I am going to say next while my partner is talking; I will try to reflect back what my partner is saying so he/she feels heard; I will try to avoid interrupting; I will try to look at my partner when we are having a conversation and pay attention to his/her body language; I will try to use "I" statements instead of "You" statements.
I will try not to play the "Blame Game" - instead, I will try to refrain from criticizing and blaming others for the situation; I will try to avoid trying to "shame" my partner as being "at fault"; I will try to use the opportunity to analyze the situation objectively, assess the needs of both parties, and try to reach a solution that helps both of us; I will try to refrain from personalizing my stressors - blaming myself for things over which I have no control creates more stress for me.
I will try not to always feel I need to "win" - instead, I will try to come to a resolution and a mutual understanding that respects the needs of both of us; I will try to not discount my partner's thoughts and get stuck in my own point of view; I will try to look for ways to compromise. Health communication involves finding a resolution that both parties can be happy with.
I will try not make character attacks - instead, we will try to avoid calling each other names; we will refrain from blaming one another or make accusations; I will try to respect my partner even if I don't like his/her ideas or behavior; I will try to avoid bringing up past conflicts to throw the discussion off-topic.
I will try not to "own" my stuff - instead, I will try to accept my own responsibility for the situation - this causes long-term problems because the situation won't get any better; I will try to avoid engaging in finger-pointing and acknowledge my own thoughts and feelings.
Sandy Knollman
I will try not to avoid conflicy altogether - instead, I will try to not let the little things that bother me BUILD UP until one of us explodes the issue into a large fight; I will try to talk about it with my partner within 48 hours, or let it go; I will try to set an appointment within the next 24 hours to have our discussion if my partner doesn't want to discuss the matter immediately.
I will try not become defensive - instead, I will try to listen and hear my partner out; I will try to address my partner's complaints with objectivity and with a willingness to understand; I will try to remain calm and in control of my emotions.
I will try not to overgeneralize - instead, I will try to lose the words "always" and "never"; I will try to avoid catasrophizing; I will try to avoid the focus on isolated events and assuming all future events will be the same; I will try to stop and think if the things I am saying are really true.
I will try not to always be right - instead, I will try to stop looking at things as being "right" or "wrong" and that my opinions are always right and my partner's are wrong; I will try to recognize that sometimes two points of view are valid; I will try to look for effective ways to compromise; I will try to accept that my partners might have a different opinion that I do and that sometimes we might need to agree to disagree.
I will try not to read my partner's mind - instead, I will try to resist the idea that I "know" what my partner is thinking and that those thoughts are contrary to mine; I will try to avoid assigning motives to my partner's actions - "You are only saying/doing this because..."; I will try to avoid jumping to conclusions and hear my partner out.
I will try not to deny the positive - instead, I will try to refrain from holding the magnifying glass to the negative events while I dismiss the positive - for example, I will focus on the nine things that go right instead of the one thing that goes wrong; I will try to expect positive things to happen rather than thinking of positive things as flukes - this will help me to eliminate those "Yeah, but...." responses when my partner proposes a solution to a problem.
I will try not to forget to listen - instead, I will try to listen carefully - don't think about what I am going to say next while my partner is talking; I will try to reflect back what my partner is saying so he/she feels heard; I will try to avoid interrupting; I will try to look at my partner when we are having a conversation and pay attention to his/her body language; I will try to use "I" statements instead of "You" statements.
I will try not to play the "Blame Game" - instead, I will try to refrain from criticizing and blaming others for the situation; I will try to avoid trying to "shame" my partner as being "at fault"; I will try to use the opportunity to analyze the situation objectively, assess the needs of both parties, and try to reach a solution that helps both of us; I will try to refrain from personalizing my stressors - blaming myself for things over which I have no control creates more stress for me.
I will try not to always feel I need to "win" - instead, I will try to come to a resolution and a mutual understanding that respects the needs of both of us; I will try to not discount my partner's thoughts and get stuck in my own point of view; I will try to look for ways to compromise. Health communication involves finding a resolution that both parties can be happy with.
I will try not make character attacks - instead, we will try to avoid calling each other names; we will refrain from blaming one another or make accusations; I will try to respect my partner even if I don't like his/her ideas or behavior; I will try to avoid bringing up past conflicts to throw the discussion off-topic.
I will try not to "own" my stuff - instead, I will try to accept my own responsibility for the situation - this causes long-term problems because the situation won't get any better; I will try to avoid engaging in finger-pointing and acknowledge my own thoughts and feelings.
Sandy Knollman
Friday, June 12, 2009
14 Ways to Advocate for Your Child
14 Ways to Advocate for Your Child, according to the 2009 Exceptional Kamily KYmagazine (www.lexingtonfamily.com):
1) Believe not only in your child, but in your ability to advocate at all times.
2) Know and understand your rights.
3) Keep good, organized records.
4) Come to meetings prepared, knowing and understanding what is in your child'sIEP.
5) Know the purpose of each meeting and what you want to discuss.
6) Be ready to share what you know about your child.
7) Ask to see data before making changes.
8) Make sure that what is agreed on in meetings is written on the IEP form. "Ifit is not written down it does not exist."
9) Build positive, respectful relationships with professionals.
10) Become a good listener.
11) Practice what you're going to say in meetings.
12) Ask questions about everything you don;t understand.
13) Don't let personal animosity distort your judgement about getting what yourchild needs.
14) Be willing to try something new.
Hope this helps!
Sandy Knollman
1) Believe not only in your child, but in your ability to advocate at all times.
2) Know and understand your rights.
3) Keep good, organized records.
4) Come to meetings prepared, knowing and understanding what is in your child'sIEP.
5) Know the purpose of each meeting and what you want to discuss.
6) Be ready to share what you know about your child.
7) Ask to see data before making changes.
8) Make sure that what is agreed on in meetings is written on the IEP form. "Ifit is not written down it does not exist."
9) Build positive, respectful relationships with professionals.
10) Become a good listener.
11) Practice what you're going to say in meetings.
12) Ask questions about everything you don;t understand.
13) Don't let personal animosity distort your judgement about getting what yourchild needs.
14) Be willing to try something new.
Hope this helps!
Sandy Knollman
Saturday, May 16, 2009
2009 Cincinnati Walk Now for Autism
The walk went very well today. We had 5 people inquire about buying the puzzle piece purses. We may have also found a building for the autism resource center. I had a table at the walk as well and gave away over 15 copies of the resource list. I wish I could've given more, but that's all I was able to bring with me. I gave a lot of people my home e-mail address so I can e-mail them the links to Autism Speaks First 100 Days Kit, as well as the Kentucky Family Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders. I even received a request asking for information about support groups. I was so happy to be able to say that we have one! No parent should be going through this struggle alone. Whether you've gotten a diagnosis or waiting for one, you shouldn;t have to go through it alone. We're here to help, and will do what we can to find the resources and support you need.
Monday, May 11, 2009
May Meeting - Summary
I think the meeting tonight went very well. There was a total of 7 in attendance. Connie and I provided some handouts, to include the completed resource list that I typed up last night. Nancy Elmore came to the meeting, and she offered to donate 25% of the proceeds of her Premier jewelry sales to my autism walk team: Shelby's Proud Puppies. Though we all have very different personalities, we all share a common thread, and that is our children. We've all faced the same struggles and made it through ok, and that's what helps.
Jessika Vance-Morgan and Autism Research
The following is a message I received from Jessika:
Hello,
A couple of weeks ago I sent out an e-mail explaining my current research endeavors at Eastern Kentucky University. This reach is focused on using the NEPSY-II, a neuropsychological test that assesses executive functioning, senorimotor functioning, social perception, and visuospatial processing with children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. I would like to examine the unique profile children with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's Syndrome in the Executive Functioning and Social Functioning aspects of this neuropsychological battery.
In order to have my research approved by the IRB, I must have an e-mail from various organizations that support Autism research that they will forward my information on to their e-mail lists, web sites, and discussion boards. If you feel that this research is one that you can support, please e-mail me back and let me know.
Your support of research and advocacy of Autism Spectrum Disorders is admired and appreciated. Thank you for your time.
Jessika Vance-Morgan
Academic Coach
Office of Services for Individuals with Disabilities
Office: 859-622-2933
Mobile: 859-588-4116
jessika_vancemorg@eku.edu
Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.-John Wesley
Hello,
A couple of weeks ago I sent out an e-mail explaining my current research endeavors at Eastern Kentucky University. This reach is focused on using the NEPSY-II, a neuropsychological test that assesses executive functioning, senorimotor functioning, social perception, and visuospatial processing with children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. I would like to examine the unique profile children with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's Syndrome in the Executive Functioning and Social Functioning aspects of this neuropsychological battery.
In order to have my research approved by the IRB, I must have an e-mail from various organizations that support Autism research that they will forward my information on to their e-mail lists, web sites, and discussion boards. If you feel that this research is one that you can support, please e-mail me back and let me know.
Your support of research and advocacy of Autism Spectrum Disorders is admired and appreciated. Thank you for your time.
Jessika Vance-Morgan
Academic Coach
Office of Services for Individuals with Disabilities
Office: 859-622-2933
Mobile: 859-588-4116
jessika_vancemorg@eku.edu
Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.-John Wesley
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The 5 Types of Autism Spectrum Disorders - According to Kentucky's Family Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders
1) Autism
2) Asperger Syndrome
3) Pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS)
4) Rett Syndrome
5) Childhood disintegrative disorder
The word "autism" was first used in 1911. It wasn't until the 1960's that researchers began to put autism in its own category. In 1994, DSM-IV was introduced to clarify the characteristics and criteria needed for an autism diagnosis. Autism spectrum disorders affect 3 main areas: communication, socialization, and behavior. Others areas of development, such as fine motor skills and sensory processing, may also be affected.
2) Asperger Syndrome
3) Pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS)
4) Rett Syndrome
5) Childhood disintegrative disorder
The word "autism" was first used in 1911. It wasn't until the 1960's that researchers began to put autism in its own category. In 1994, DSM-IV was introduced to clarify the characteristics and criteria needed for an autism diagnosis. Autism spectrum disorders affect 3 main areas: communication, socialization, and behavior. Others areas of development, such as fine motor skills and sensory processing, may also be affected.
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