Strength

Strength can be many things. It can be choosing to walk away from a situation, or it can smiling in the face of adversity. As the parent of a teen with autism, I chose to be strong in many situations. Yet my strength is nothing compared to that of my teen with autism, Shelby.

Shelby loves unconditionally, even when it seems like she shouldn't. I'll never forget when she was kicked out of school in the middle of the school day in the middle of the school year. I was devastated, and I guess I thought she would be too. When I told her she wouldn't be going to back to school, Shelby looked at me and said, "Guess that means I won't be missing El Tigre today." El Tigre was her former favorite cartoon to watch on Nickelodeon. When I explained to her I meant that she wouldn't be going back to that school ever again, Shelby's reply was shocking. She looked at me and said, "Well, guess that means no more homework for me." Could I love this kid anymore?

And then there's that time when an adult man walked up to Shelby at a jumping play center and said, "Pull up your pants you fat retard, no one wants to see you butt." She doesn't like to wear belts. This sometimes results in loose pants. I try a subtle reminder and tell Shelby "piggy bank" when I notice.
It wasn't Shelby who told me the man had said to her, it was her friend from her new school, Ryan. I didn't know whether to cry or be angry knowing what that man had said to my child. I'll never forget walking up to every adult man in that play center and asking him if he was the one who had been mean to my child. It wasn't until we were halfway home that Shelby finally told me who had been mean to her: the man in the Pete Rose t-shirt. You see, she was protecting not only me from getting in a confrontation with the man, but also the very man who had insulted her. To me, that is true strength.

So for my Shelby girl who struggles on a daily basis with the various challenges that come with having autism, I dedicate a quote from the great Christopher Reeve, "A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."